missed connections

Craigslist is an interesting phenomenon. You can buy a car, rent out your basement suite, find a job or even a penis for the night (or vagina). Literally anything you could possibly ever want/need/think you want/think you need can be found on Craigslist. The thing I find most interesting about it though is the "Missed Connections" portion of the site.

For you squares who are unaware of Missed Connections, it is part of the personals section (yes, there is a personals section, no i don't know why or who... i digress) where you may post about a connection that may have been - hence the name. Consider, if you will, you are at a local coffeehouse, a beautiful man is also there, you glance at each other briefly, he doesn't notice you but you've already planned your wedding, family and retirement. But alas! He looks at his watch and realizes that he must leave in order to give blood transfusions to sickly children. Blessed saint with a marvelous ass *sigh*.

Has this happened to you? Well it has to me; but let us asses the reality of the situation. You spotted an attractive, potential soul-mate. You looked like shit, and on top of that didn't realize that you're creepy leering was the reason he left. Plus let's face it he was probably gay (please refer to my last blog), married, or a combination of the two (again refer to my last blog). See most normal people just shrug those meetings off as normal life, but for some, well they feel that it meant just a little bit more.

For these people they take the next step and decide to post these events on a Buy and Sell website in hopes that they're knight in shining armor will not only read it, but have felt the same way, and also be comfortable replying to them. It's a stretch to say the least. Here's a gem that I saw today as I was perusing the site:

"To Jewels who was the sexy woman at Urban Planet today. I was the guy waiting for his son outside changing rooms feeling all creepy LOL. "

Here's one that's a bit more aggressive:

"2 very sexy ladies tryign to get money out of the bank machine

you just came from a grad reunion
one was wearing a black and green dress
the other in a hot see thru black blouse and jeans

what did you show me
how much money were we able to get

id love to talk"

Now, I feel like if you're gonna take the time to write a post on Missed Connections, you don't have the right to be picky. What if I got all hot and bothered while reading this? What if I was to want to talk to you? This guy would turn that down because I couldn't answer his ambiguous questions?

Now, for my devoted readers, I know you are wondering why I'm writing this... what could this possibly have to do with Angela? Well, one fateful afternoon I was reading Missed Connections and read one about myself.

Unfortunately, I did not have the brains to save the post, but I think I remember the general idea of it. I was watching tv with my little sis while on the computer and notice an "MC" about the liquor store where I work. Giddy with the idea that it may very well be about someone I know, I clicked on it. It said something like, "It was a Sunday afternoon, you were restocking wines. You looked Mexican or perhaps Middle Eastern and you were the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I didn't want to bother you because you looked busy. I hope you remember me; I was wearing a black coat."

You may wonder why I remember this so well. To that I say, fuck off. If you found one posted about you, you'd memorize it too.

Anyhow, can we just talk about a few things? "Mexican or perhaps Middle Eastern"? Was that the best way to describe me? Ironically as soon as I read that I knew instantly it was about me. "I was wearing a black coat"? Thanks man, no one else wears the color black, so I clearly remember you. And the most glaring issue, umm... you know where I work. If you feel that connected to me, can't you just come back and visit me? Not that I would want that, but it's less desperate.

So there you have it kids, another skin-crawling tale from my life. Yes this is real and no I don't do mind altering drugs... often. And to the man who feels connected to me, please stop.